Dead Oceans, 2020
One year later, Phoebe Bridgers’ 2020 sophomore album Punisher is still as viscerally relatable as it was a year ago. The soundtrack to many anxious millennials’ global pandemic Year One, it can also be the soundtrack to a much brighter Year Two. Truth be told, our anxiety will still be there, but it’ll be more towards our return to society and less towards a deadly virus seeping throughout the world. It’s not all anxiety and fear either. The upcoming semi-normal Summer will have a soundtrack filled with all the music that was confined to our homes last year—including Punisher. The album I listened to for hours on end while playing Geoguessr (I’ve gotten quite good at it), will once again have a lot of weekly plays this Summer.
The universally acclaimed, but Grammy-snubbed record spawned a remix EP (Copycat Killer), a Spotify Single (“Kyoto”/”Summer’s End”), a guitar smashing SNL performance, and many high production livestream concerts. With touring so far still impossible, Bridgers had to be creative in the first year of Punisher’s album cycle. Instead of pushing back the album’s release, she dropped it when she did and made the best of the situation. Bridgers connected to fans in a different and pandemic-friendly way through releasing different versions of certain tracks, delivering high production concerts to your TV/computer, livestreaming on Instagram, and a Zoom late night television tour. Like many indieheads, Punisher was my indie album of the year. Actually, Punisher was my overall album of the year. As fitting as it was for 2020, it will be as fitting if not more fitting for the second half of 2021.
As we slowly leave our Fallout shelters and re-embark into the bright outside world, we’ll have to re-learn how to engage with people. We’re talking the better part of a year without seeing our friends and family. Working from home and only going out for essentials and groceries. Sure, a lot of us probably enjoyed park weather and maybe even patios last Summer, but it’s hard to disagree with the fact that last Winter was one of the worst ever—especially if you live somewhere that has a REAL Winter like Toronto. The cold, darkness, and loneliness was a perfect recipe for a deep and cutting season depression.
Small talk isn’t a skill we’ve exactly been able to practice over Zoom. There will surely be moments at a party or gathering where we walk away from a conversation realizing we were being a punisher. Remember parties and bars? Remember how awkward they could get sometimes? Now prepare to eventually jump back into them after over a year of facing the same four walls of your home. Talking to your reflection or your cat.
Like many people, I am finally starting to feel safe dating again. I’m about to get my second dose, and outdoor activities and patios are once again allowed. The mere thought of dating though is SO daunting. I’m supposed to finally find romantic companionship after being starved of it for over a year because I was one of the unlucky (or lucky depending on your situation… yikes) people to go into the pandemic single! It’s easy to say most of us will be quite rusty when it comes to dating. We’ll have to jump right in though because shit, who knows if another global pandemic is right around the corner?! We’ll have to endure the possibility of those awful romantic situations. For example, where things feel one-sided. Remember that appalling feeling? Throw in having barely interacted with people in-person since last year and you’ll want to crawl back into your hole. Maybe you fall in too deep and want to give them the moon when you obviously can’t. Maybe things work out in some sick way and you end up dating that person, but they hate themselves and everything you do doesn’t work. You develop a, say, Savior Complex. Romance post-pandemic—anxiety inducing!
The worst thing about returning to normalcy is it may very well only be temporary. Sure, the near future is starting to look really, really good. Case counts are dropping, vaccination rates are rising, things are starting to open. But, can we really count on governments to not fuck things up one more time just for the hell of it? What if a new variant comes around like Thanos when he gets the Infinity Gauntlet? Maybe, the end is still near. Maybe, the end is here. I don’t think I’ll be able to not anticipate some impending doom considering the events of this past year. We’ve seen things get better before a second wave that hit harder than the first. A third wave wasn’t supposed to come and then it did. Beyond the pandemic, social issues in the United States haven’t gotten much better under the Biden administration. Here in Canada, the government is still fighting residential school survivors in court. Black people are still being murdered by police, and Asians and Pacific Islanders are still being attacked for who they are.
To bring some positivity though, let’s envision better days instead of thinking the worst is still yet to come. Listen to Garden Song through a different… whatever the audio equivalent to a lens is. Earpiece? Manifest some bright days ahead instead of dreading the worst possible outcomes into fruition. Put your best foot forward and make this Summer and the months that follow a time to remember. We’ve all said we would never turn down another invite to hang out after what we’ve endured, so live by those words! I guess I should say to do all this in a SAFE manner. After all, the damn pandemic still isn’t actually over.
One year later, Punisher is still one of the best records to have come out in recent years. Thematically, we can listen to Punisher with a different, more positive mindset. We can even listen to it with the same mindset. Take it as your anxiety and existential dread being heard, and as a soundtrack to that anxiety and existential dread. Sonically and musically, however, Punisher is still masterfully crafted and hasn’t blemished one bit. Good luck on your return into the world. If you’re feeling imposter syndrome after a year of re-discovering yourself and introspection, throw on “Kyoto” and just vibe. (Woo)
The Utility Spot 